How to Turn Around A Sinking Conversation - 7 Tips

When a conversation is not working out there is the potential for massive frustration or a breakthrough depending on how you look at it.

1. Question your assumptions about the other person

Perhaps the breakdown in communication is based on rumors that have no basis in reality. You may be unfairly judging the other person and filtering every word he speaks because of a false image of who he really is.

Have you ever harshly judged someone and found out later you were completely in the wrong? Make sure you are not making the same mistake again.

2. Ask for clarification

Ask the other person to fill in the gaps that are causing you to lose your grasp on the train of thought.

Asking questions demonstrates your interest in a positive outcome and is to be encouraged. Never worry about looking stupid for asking for more information. The smartest people value information and are always ready to ask for more.

3. Are you really listening?

Check that you are really paying attention and not just pretending to be. Change your posture, pay close attention to how the other person is talking and demand more of yourself.

Become more attentive simply by choosing to be.

4. Address the issue directly

Be direct and say aloud that you feel the conversation is not working out. Often the other person will agree and together the two of you will be able to work to correct the situation.

Two minds are better than one!

5. Ask for help

If you often have trouble conversing with a particular person get advice from someone that knows the other person. Very often by doing this you will get new insights you can act on right away.

And someone who is removed from the situation will have the objectivity you need to make sense of the chaos you have created.

6. Take a break

Sometimes the timing just is not right. Reschedule the conversation for a later time when you are better prepared, more rested or not as distracted by other issues.

Forcing something to work out when the odds are stacked against you is difficult and often unnecessary. Get back to it later when you are feeling more capable and you will make better decisions and with less effort.

7. Aim for good not perfect

Sometimes we hold such high standards for ourselves that we can never win. If you demand 100 per cent success at all times you are setting yourself up for constant disappointment. Do your best and aim to learn and improve from every experience.

Be kinder to yourself and you will be more relaxed in all of your dealings with other people. And ironically your performance will improve because you are not being so hard on yourself.

About The Author

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm

peter1510@hotmail.com

More Resources

Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting

More Coaching Information:

Related Articles

Creating Supportive Environments
I'm writing this on my laptop in a Cosi café in Dupont Circle in Washington, D.C.
Business Career Executive Coaching Article -Motivator, Discipline and Desire
"There is a certain combination of desire and discipline in the way I work. Discipline by itself simply is not enough in the creative process.
Good Communication is Easy - Isn't It?
My name is Steve Brummet and my business is to speak to businesses, teams, schools, churches, non profit organizations and just people about improving their communication skills. Most communication experts agree that good communication starts with understanding.
9 Guidelines For Spiritual Coaching
Spirituality coaching is more than creating goals and holding someone accountable. Spirituality coaching takes into account the whole person, that is, mind, body and spirit.
Grow Through It
It's past bedtime for most working men. It's not unbearably late and I have no appointments tomorrow morning so I sit here and contemplate.
What Do You Really Want ?
Being a coach is such a rewarding profession. The enormous impact you have on other people's lives always astounds me.
A Visualization Exercise on Managing Expectations for Adults with ADD
As adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), we often find ourselves excited by new ideas and plans, but overwhelmed by what it will take to reach the goals.Many of my coaching clients find themselves in this situation.
Finding a Mentor in the 21st Century
Traditionally, mentors volunteer the wisdom of their experiences to help others who wanted to follow in their footsteps. These days, many people have learned to appreciate the value of a good mentor.
Beware of Psychic Vampires
I am often asked how I stay happy and motivated all the time. The answer has two parts to it; positivity and self-talk.
Dont Settle
Settling is about not embracing what is best for you, and accepting what you really don't want. When you settle, you accept less than you deserve.
Im Gonna Die MY Way
My wife says I have the strangest taste in movies. You see, there are movies I can watch again and again, which she couldn't sit through once.
Executive Coaching and Effective Learning
We've all been through training events-workshops, seminars, and courses that didn't affect our behavior as much as we would have preferred. And while each provides valuable information and tools for increased productivity, most of us also understand what happens after the workshop is over.
The Role of Grief Group Facilitators
Technically, there are two types of grief groups. Informational and support groups are for individuals who have an interest in the grief process.
Worth Waiting For
Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 22, 2002I am a 31-year-old virgin male. At times I feel sexually frustrated because I've never been intimate with a woman.
Purpose
Many people go through much of their lives without really thinking about their purpose. I don't mean a lofty, philosophic, and often unrealistic purpose that has us striving to save the world or solve the challenge of poverty throughout the world (although these are both admirable for those whose true purpose is to do so).
Guilt: Is it Getting in the Way of Your Self-Care?
When Do We Usually Feel Guilty? When:We're not feeling ok about who we are.We're not feeling ok about the choices we're making.
A Call To Do Better
I'm calling you out. Issuing a Challenge.
How Can Sceptics Get the Proof They Need
Are you one of those folks that needs to figure-it-out all the time? Are you one of those Law of Attraction students who catches yourself saying things like, "I wonder how this is going to come to me?" or, "What do I need to figure out so I know what to do next (to manifest what I desire)?" Attention Law of Attraction Students!Stop trying to figure out where/how/when your manifestation is going to come! It's not your job!Here's a great tool that will help all of you 'figure-it-outers' reduce your need to figure it out. Those of you who are thinkers need to see it or know it before you can fully accept that The Law of Attraction exists and is working in your life.
Mentors and Coaches: How to Be a Great Mentee or Learner
When you invest your time in being a mentee you will be rewarded with accelerated learning and experiences from your mentor. You will learn from and avoid the mistakes that they may have made, learn about your industry, meet great people, form valuable relationships and be able to mentor someone in your future.
Why Things Are The Way They Are
Things are the way you think they are, because you think they are that way. An interesting statement I know, but let's break it down a bit if you will, and see what this Really means.