The Self Development Tool Box

Do you have a self-development toolbox? Do you have a standard set of instruments or mechanisms that you use to delve into your inner self? Just asking yourself those questions makes you think, doesn't it? That is because questioning is the most powerful tool in your self-development toolbox. When we start on the self-development path it is usually because we have asked ourselves a question: who am I, what is it I want, why am I in this position, when can I change, where will this happen and how can I make it happen? Questions can be about us or about others and are used as identifiers. Who do I want to be? Who is standing in the way? Who will support me in this? Who can provide information?

We bring clarity to our quest by asking What. What is standing in the way of resolving this issue? What can I do about this? What is my next step?" Answering the What questions moves us another step forward on the path to change.

If you have ever been in the presence of a three year old for any length of time, you know that their favorite word is Why. The Why question brings them new information and helps them to understand the workings of a world that is new to them. It can be the same for us in the self-development process. Why do I feel this way? Why do I react like that? Why does this seem hard? Why can't I get motivated?

To take action we need to ask the When question. When will I start? When will this happen? The answers to When questions create timetables and guidelines to follow. When putting a roast into the oven we need to know when it will be cooked. Knowing when the roast will be done moves us to have the table set and the vegetables cooked at the appropriate time. When questions motivate.

Where do we want our self-development quest to take us? If we don't know where we want to go we will surely have a hard time getting there. And, if we don't know where we have been how will we know where we want to go. Where questions raise our awareness. Where do I want to be one year from now?five years from now?

Once we know who, what, why, when, and where we need to know how. How can I accomplish this? How should I start? How will I feel when I am there? How questions help us to create a plan for action.

Trial lawyers always say, "Never ask a question you don't know the answer to." It is exactly the opposite in the self-development process. Queries you don't know the answer to are the ones that will bring you the most new information about who you are, where you are and who and where you want to be in the future. Questions can stimulate a deep thought process and can bring us to places of discovery and revelation we wouldn't otherwise reach.If you want to: make a change, find a solution, clarify your thinking, identify a goal or learn more about the real you, just delve into your toolbox and pull out the questioning tool. It works every time!

Beth Densmore is a Personal Life Coach who offers support, inspiration and motivation to those who are in transition and want to achieve a goal. For more information and more free articles like this, visit her site at http://www.newfocuscoaching.com

Authors Note: Feel free to use this article for your web-site or e-zine as long as it remains unaltered (including the "about the author" info), and you send a copy of your reprint to beth@newfocuscoaching.com.

More Resources

Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting

More Coaching Information:

Related Articles

Lovers Remorse
Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 29, 2002A few months after my divorce I started seeing a friend of my ex-wife. She told me I really needed a person that would appreciate me.
Top 10 Ways to Coach Yourself to Total Success!
Coaching is about being your best. It's about performance, about "staying the course" and, in the end, about creating and living the life you really want.
Is The Apprentice Bad For Your Health?
If you know who I mean when I say Kwame, Bill and Troy, you're probably a fan of The Apprentice. I admit I'm not a fan myself; I don't watch much television and that particular show didn't grab my interest enough to be "appointment" watching.
Some Business Coaches are in Error
Many business coaches deny the power of suggestion while using it. For instance a corporate inner circle will be told that they have inner conflicts with ethical practice due to the stockholders coming first, the customers coming second and employees coming third.
A Coaching Secret
I've told people for a long time that one of the "secrets" of coaching is forgiveness. Forgiveness takes your finger out of the dyke of the past so you can let the future flow.
Live With An Attitude Of Gratitude
Imagine for a moment one of those nights when you just can't fall asleep and you have to get up early the next morning for a very important meeting of which you are the keynote speaker. Your alarm clock goes off early in the morning waking you from what little sleep you had.
4 Brilliant Tips to Speed Read Faster than Ever
Many people, particularly students, would love to beable to absorb information faster. But before retaininginformation, they have to go through the first stage oflearning, which is reading.
How to Coach Yourself!
Some people are not in a position to work with a coach right now. Some are stretched financially, while some are still using the "lone ranger" method.
People Pleasing and How to Stop!
"People pleasing can leave you feeling empty and taken advantage of." Deb MeltonOne of the ways fear shows up in our lives and keeps us from living fully is when we become a people pleaser.
How to Quickly and Easily Deal With Rude People
Where I live there seems to be a a growing population of rude and vulgar people. And no matter how hard I wish for things to change it is not going to happen.
Value Based Leadership Coaching
What can I do to be a better coach? The Eight Step Coaching Model describes the process, yet too often the focus is on techniques only. "How can I say it to win my point, get others to do things my way, or convince them?" Focusing only on one technique is fundamentally manipulative.
You Can Get There From Here
But first you've got to raise your standards.I know at some point you had big dreams.
Budda In Your Back Pocket
The other day I was late for something. Not very late.
Managing Your Perfectionism
What Is Perfectionism?This is the first of two newsletters that address perfectionism. In this issue, we will explore what perfectionism is and why it is destructive.
If What You Are Doing Is Not Working Change Your Approach
And ironically the more we worry about it, the more tense we getand the more likely we are to say something stupid.Let us a take a look at some remedies:1 Learn to relax when you feel under pressure.
Diverse Marketing Strategies for Those Living with Disabilities
Imagine yourself as the only means of financially supporting you. A little scary isn't it? In today's economy, it is difficult living on a single income.
A Small Piece Of Carpet
Have you ever noticed how the way you feel about yourself sometimes depends on whether or not you get confirmation of your value from others? When you enter into challenging situations with a positive self identity you will discover that you are living your life with a greater sense of enjoyment and fulfillment.I have learned a lot about nurturing a positive identity of love and appreciation from the man who taught me to train dogs.
How To Improve Your Selling Skills -- With Coaching Skills
But people love being coached. It's respectful and considerate of their needs.
Communicating with Case Studies
Not long ago, I made a partnership pitch, on behalf of an organization I represent, to another organization with similar interests. If the idea had come to fruition, it would have radically changed our organization.
Mid Life Crisis and the Great American Dream
One of the mainstays of American culture is the "Great American Dream". Immigrants would uproot their families and leave their homeland in the hopes of experiencing the freedom and opportunity that awaits them in America.