Its Story Time! - Find the Power Within, or The Truth About Dogs

I heard a story recently, and wanted to share it with you. It goes something like this:

Once upon a time...

The chief was sitting at the edge of the village, obviously deep in thought. He sat there for hours and hours, seemingly unmoving. The tribe was beginning to get worried and restless, but nobody wanted to disturb him. An elder eventually got up his courage and walked over. 'Chief,' he asked, 'what's going on? You look so troubled!' The chief just sat there, and the elder thought that he had not heard. Finally the chief spoke.

And he said:

'You know, it's like there are two dogs fighting inside of me all the time - a white dog and a black dog. The black dog is mean and angry. The white dog is good and kind. And the black dog is constantly fighting the white dog.'

The elder looked at the chief and said quietly, 'Chief, so which dog wins?' The chief sat quietly for a moment, and then replied: 'the one I feed the most.'

The black dog

All of us have some version of that story going on inside us all the time, on some level. Our 'black dog self' is mean, irritable, and angry. It is driven by fear, and has us look at the world through the lens of shortage, struggle, and judgment. This is how we are when we're feeling small, anxious, and spiritually disconnected.

We act from this place when we honk at someone in traffic, worry constantly about money, snap at our families, friends, or coworkers, or respond in a way that is defensive, irritable, or anxious. Unfortunately, it is all too common for many of us to choose to relate with the world from this part of ourselves.

And the white dog

Yet we, each of us, also have another part of ourselves, at our core, underneath the loud yappings of the 'black dog self'. This is, to continue with the metaphor, our 'white dog self', and it is guided by love and kindness. This is the part of us that longs to live with purpose and to have an impact on the world. It is our authentic self, our essence. Our creativity lives here, as do our intuition, faith, and sense of connection and compassion.

There's a sense of ease and joy in our life when we approach things from this 'white dog self'. We are honoring this part of us when we indulge our creativity, do something nice for someone else, act from a place of compassion, or sit in quiet meditation. The more we learn to recognize, honor, and use this part of ourselves, the more joy and fulfillment we'll feel in our daily lives.

It's feeding time

There's a lot of wisdom in the chief's answer. 'Feeding the dogs' is a metaphor for how we direct our thoughts, what we choose to focus on. Have you ever found yourself re-hashing an angry conversation in your head? Or dwelling on a mishap? Yup, that's feeding the 'black dog'.

And what about times when you felt at ease, said 'hi' to and smiled at people on the street, connected with a vision of where you want to be, or sat in quiet meditation to clear the clutter out of your head? Those are some possible ways to feed the 'white dog'.

You have the power

The best part of this story, the 'happily ever after' bit, is that you have complete choice of which of these aspects of your self you want to bring to the forefront. They are both a part of you, and you get to decide, moment by moment, how you want to react, and where you want to direct your thoughts and energy.

Plant the Seeds:

Now it's your turn. Take a couple of minutes and try these exercises. Really. Try it now. You never know - hey, what's next...?

1. Take a minute and connect with your 'black dog self' - the one that's fearful and irritable. See what it feels like - what are the sensations in your body? What are the messages you're telling yourself - and projecting into the world - when you're in this state? Write these down.

2. Now, shake off that black dog, and connect with your 'white dog self' - that kind, loving place. Breathe into it - what are the sensations in your body from this place?

3. In your daily life, what proportion of the time do you live from each of these parts of yourself? Start noticing. Play a game with yourself - carry a little card in your wallet, and make two columns on it. Each time you notice you're acting from 'black dog self', place a check in the 'black dog' column. Ditto for 'white dog'. Soon you'll gain a richer awareness of your automatic responses, and be able to more actively choose how you react.

4. What does 'feeding the dog' mean to you? How do you feed your black and white dog selves?

5. Think about a recent situation where you acted from your 'black dog self' - a fight, altercation, or other unpleasant situation. Really put yourself back there, into how you were feeling at that time. Now ask yourself - what could be different in that situation if you chose instead to come from love and kindness?

As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts, comments, and insights. Drop me a line at mailto:in@heyWhatsNext.com .

© 2004 Inna Nirenburg

About The Author

Inna Nirenburg is a powerful life coach and workshop leader. She uses her deep wisdom and intuition, as well as a concrete actionable process, to help you answer the question 'What's Next?' in all areas of your life. See http://www.heyWhatsNext.com for more information, or to subscribe to her monthly newsletter, 'Inklings: Your Guide to a You-er You'.

More Resources

Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting

More Coaching Information:

Related Articles

Dont Settle
Settling is about not embracing what is best for you, and accepting what you really don't want. When you settle, you accept less than you deserve.
A Numbers Game!
Three years ago, Paul left his corporate job to launch his freelance writing career, and he's done relatively well. He has a group of regular clients that keep him going, and they are happy with his work.
Coaching vs. Directing - How Does Improv Theater Suggest You Should Lead Your Team
An age old battle in improv that I believe resonates well with challenges we experience in the business world is the question of whether a team should have a coach or a director (in which case it should be called an ensemble). In addition there's the third option of the self coached team, which I will call committee from here on forward.
6 Practices for Achieving Excellent Self-Care
Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) often feel like they are running behind schedule, and just don't have the time get everything done. As a result, many ADDers end up sacrificing their own self-care in order to scratch off items on their to-do lists.
Personal Strategic Planning
I have a few questions for you ---What if we as individuals adapted and utilized some of the same tried and true processes and methods that have given businesses the edge they need to succeed over their competition? My sense is that understood and implemented correctly professionals would be able to gain the same competitive advantage. Remarkably, this is not anything overly complicated or new and I can't take credit for developing it.
Top Ten Tips for Living Authentically
1. Know your purposeAre you wandering through life with little direction - hoping that you'll find happiness, health and prosperity? Identify your life purpose or mission statement and you will have your own unique compass that will lead you to your truth north every time.
Be Better at Business - And Lose Weight, Too!
In business, individuals often secure the services of a success coach like myself to "fix" certain areas of their professional life. The desired fixes typically range from a desire for a promotion and/or a salary increase, to on-the-job performance enhancements, to improving one's personal productivity, to boosting one's level of enthusiasm about their job.
How to Tune In Your Brain & Feel Confident with People in Moments
One day when I was in school, many years ago, the school principal wandered into our class room, sat down and started to talk.He talked and talked; and there was nothing we could do to stop him seeing as how he was in charge!For once he actually said something that interested me and I never forgot what he said.
Tempering Temper
I'm almost always a calm and collected person. Or at least I think I am.
How Does Sports Coaching Differ from Corporate Coaching?
Athletes Versus EmployeesMost athletes are young, open to improvement, eager to learn and anxious to receive what a coach can provide. For the athlete, there is a defined season and something tangible to compete for.
Greasing the Path to Success: Finding the Confidence to Step Up to Key Moments
Whether it's making a prospecting call to a promising business contact, giving an informal "elevator speech" to a networking group, or attempting to close a transaction, there are certain key moments when putting your best-dressed foot forward really matters. Some of life's fortunate people seem to be naturally at their best finding confidence under pressure.
Live With An Attitude Of Gratitude
Imagine for a moment one of those nights when you just can't fall asleep and you have to get up early the next morning for a very important meeting of which you are the keynote speaker. Your alarm clock goes off early in the morning waking you from what little sleep you had.
Miscommunication - Root Cause of Problems?
People of two opposing ideas can stir up argumentsand fights. It's that situation when one thinkshe has the right concept while the other one also believes he has the proper notion.
Eureka! I've Found It!
OK, so it wasn't quite that big of a deal. But I did find the "T" that mysteriously escaped from the word "not" in one of my articles a few months ago.
Executive Coaching Case Studies
If you are wondering whether investment in executive coaching would promote your business growth, some case studies might help you in making a decision.Although confidentiality prevents me from going into too much detail, I think the following examples will give you an idea of how executive coaching can achieve good results in a variety of business situations.
Strategic Checklists
I've been through a couple of checklists in the past few days, and it's reaffirmed my faith in their effectiveness as a communication tool.Now, there are at least a couple of ways we can look at checklists in a communication context.
Change the Words and Change the World
Excerpt From The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve Every Relationship in Your Life by Kevin B. BurkIf we want to change our lives in any way, all we need to do is to change our words, thoughts and beliefs.
THE Step to Working Smarter (Japanese Style)
Remember that Coke contest from the 80s? If you collected bottle tops that had the letters to spell T-H-E R-E-A-L T-H-I-N-G, then youd win a zillion dollars.Im not sure where the drink industry turned the corner but contests and advertisements are no longer all you will find on the underneath side of bottle caps.
Potential
One of the most often mis-understood aspects of self-development is the concept of potential. We are often told that we can achieve our full potential, however, what does this really mean? When the focus is building self-esteem and motivating individuals to do better, there is often the implication that potential is a destination or an end-point that can be reached, and if we just strive for "it", we will reach "it".
Theres Always Enough Time!
I thought I'd begin this article by stimulating your mind with a little time trivia contest! Are you ready? Alright then, here goes?..