Top Ten Things to Build a Bridge and Get Over

God must love Top Ten lists because she made so many of them. They crowd my Inbox daily. They're right up there in popularity with offers to refinance my house and stock up on Viagra. Top Nine Lists are few and far between and Top Eleven lists unheard of. But for seem reason there seem to be ten nifty answers to pretty much any problem or life situation you can come up with.

In search of my own Top Ten favorites I had a hard time coming up with something that hadn't already been worked over. There seems to be a plethora of Top Ten lists designed to pump us up; increase our confidence and build self esteem. I thought it would be nice to let some of the air out. So here are my:

Top Ten Things to Build a Bridge and Get Over.

1. Nobody knows why anybody does anything. Imagine the time this one will free up. You don't need to figure out what happened to Aunt Bertha as a child to make her so mean and crabby; why your s.o. dumped you; why your neighbor ignores you. We humans are a product of our upbringing; environment, genetics and hormones. We do what we do when we do it. Let it go. Don't take it personally.

2. Nobody owes you a thing. When you think about all the time, love and attention it took to get where you are today you'll see that you can never repay the debt. Your mother and father who raised you; your teachers who pushed and believed in you; your friends who supported you; your community which nurtures you. Question is - what have you given back in return?

3. You'll be balanced when you're dead. Not a moment sooner. Balance schmalanace. We chase it like the Holy Grail. What's the big deal if you work too hard some weeks and goof off others? If you're passionate about something maybe you'd rather have more of it in your life. Your kids won't knock over a bank if you miss a few softball practices. Exercise is overrated and TV's not evil incarnate

4. Multi-tasking is an oxymoron. Don't be intimidated by colleagues who do five things at once. Studies on "Attentional Blink" show that we don't actually do more than one thing at a time. We switch our attention rapidly between projects. A one man band plays many instruments passably but none well. Better to be a maestro than a journeyman.

5. You don't deserve anything you have. See # 2. Entitlement is a very unattractive quality. No matter how hard you worked or how much you planned you were never in control of the outcome of your efforts. God and luck and the support of others, along with your own hard work, played big parts.

6. You're ordinary. Relax it's a compliment. Ordinary people are reliable, industrious and consistent . Superstars are a pain in the rear especially when they read their own press. Who would you rather call at 2 AM when your car breaks down - Tony Robbins or your brother-in-law Al? Imagine the ride home.

7. You're not a victim you're a volunteer. (Unless we're talking about a trainwreck or a typhoid epidemic). The old saw about nobody being able to take advantage of you without your permission is true. If you don't want something to happen in your life don't set it up in the first place.

8. You're right. Life isn't fair. But it's always interesting and instructive if you keep an open mind.

9. There is no meantime. No place where time stands still and standards are lowered and second best is good enough. There's only now. What are you going to do now?

10. Gratefulness is second to Godliness. Cleanliness is waaay down the list. Get down on your knees and look at your life. Oh, the places you'll go!

Mary Rosendale is a writer, speaker and Founder of "The Constructed Life" - a unique Holistic Coaching service rooted in Buddhist psychology. If you liked this article you'll love her free newsletter. Visit her on the web at http://www.TheConstructedlife.com to sign up for it.

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