Success at Work : People Skills : Complaining

Do you know an individual at work who is a chronic complainer? Are YOU a chronic complainer? People don't like complainers. Listening to a chronic complainer gets people depressed. They prefer to associate with people that make them feel good. If you are always complaining about something, people will start to ignore you.

If you're a chronic complainer, you're sabotaging yourself and your success at work. In this article, I explain how you can improve your outlook at work and improve your prospects for success. The first thing you need to do is get in touch with reality.

People are not perfect and you shouldn't expect them to be. An organization is a group of people, so no company or organization can be perfect. If you expect your organization to be perfect, you need to change your expectations.

Instead of expecting things to be perfect, expect everything to be totally screwed up at all times. Then on the rare occasion when something does go right, you will be pleasantly surprised.

There are many problems that you can't do anything about. Learn to work around the things you can't change. Some things you can change. Instead of whining and complaining, take responsibility for a problem you can solve. Don't try to change the world, focus on improving your own little corner of the company.

You might realize that there are many problems you might be able to solve. Don't try to solve all the problems at once. Prioritize the things that you view as problems and choose your battles. Attack the most important problem first.

When you complain, limit your complaint to one problem and be specific. Along with your complaint, suggest a realistic solution. If you can't think of a realistic solution to the problem, then how do you expect someone else to solve the problem?

Sometimes it's best to put your complaint in writing. Put your written complaint aside for a day. Don't submit your complaint until your writing is clear, logical, and carefully thought out. By the time you finish, you may realize that you didn't completely understand the problem, or you may decide that the problem isn't worth complaining about after all.

If your complaint involves a person, avoid attacking that individual. Don't complain that the individual is stupid or inconsiderate. Complain that what the individual did was stupid or inconsiderate. If a person works really hard, they might be able to change how they act, but they can never change who they are.

Complaining about your boss or a higher manager is very dangerous. Don't complain about the boss to your coworkers. If your boss loses face, the only way to gain back their self respect may be to fire you. Ask your boss for a private meeting and discuss the problem in a calm and polite manner.

Whether the person you are complaining about is your boss or a coworker, try to make some compliments along with the complaint. Everybody has good and bad characteristics. Make sure the individual understands that you recognize and appreciate their good characteristics. That person may not realize that anyone thought they had good characteristics and you may gain a new friend.

Note: Similar to never complaining about your boss to coworkers, a consultant should never complain about his company to the firm that he is hired out to.

It may be difficult to recognize, but all problems have a good side. Many problems are opportunities in disguise. Look for the positive side in every problem. Approach all problems with a sense of humor. If you can find the positives or the humor in a problem and you make positive statements to your coworkers and your boss, you will greatly improve your prospects for success at work.

Copyright(C) 2004 Bucaro TecHelp.

Permission is granted for the below article to forward, reprint, distribute, use for ezine, newsletter, website, offer as free bonus or part of a product for sale as long as no changes are made and the byline, copyright, and the resource box below is included.

About The Author

Stephen Bucaro

To learn how to maintain your computer and use it more effectively to design a Web site and make money on the Web visit bucarotechelp.com. To subscribe to Bucaro TecHelp Newsletter visit http://bucarotechelp.com/search/000800.asp

More Resources

Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting

More Coaching Information:

Related Articles

Are YOU a Dreamer?
This morning I watched a news article about a young woman who had just set a world record for sailing across the English Channel. What was special about this Channel crossing? The sailor, Hilary Lister, is a quadriplegic who steered the boat by blowing through two straws.
The Difference Between Approval and Appreciation
Having worked with individuals, couples, families and business partners for 35 years, helping them learn to resolve conflict, I have often been faced with the difficulties that occur when people are confused about the difference between approval with appreciation. Have you ever wondered about the difference between approval and appreciation? Most of us have never actually thought about it, yet if we do think about it, we realize that we feel very differently when we receive approval as opposed to receiving appreciation.
Courage and the Agony of Coaching Employees
Coaching employees on sensitive and personal topics like performance or contribution to the organization can be as difficult and agonizing as telling a young son or daughter about sex for the first time. You end up playing the same mental games in your head over and over again: "What should they be told? How much do they already know? (Or how much do they want me to think they know?) How much detail should I go into?" If you are unable to answer any of these penetrating questions, you tend to put the task off for another six months.
Happiness and Work: Your Life Depends On It.
Early one morning, Robert awoke, made his wife of 41 years some banana bread, took out the garbage and called to cancel a doctors appointment scheduled for the next day. He wrote a note to remind his wife to pick up the dry cleaning.
Using Audio Programs to Increase Your Knowledge and Productivity
If you do any significant amount of driving, a simple thing you can do to increase your productivity is to listen to audio programs in your car. If your commute time to work is 45 - 60 minutes each way, you can easily listen to at least 1 book each week.
Resolving Conflicts Effectively
Every relationship has conflicts. In some relationships, conflict is a serious problem; in others, differences seem to be resolved without creating a major incident.
Coaching: Change Made Simple
Here's a story that I think gets at why we have such difficulty with change.I was 8 years old and my parents gave me a dollar to go to the toy store with my best friend and his mom.
9 Guidelines For Spiritual Coaching
Spirituality coaching is more than creating goals and holding someone accountable. Spirituality coaching takes into account the whole person, that is, mind, body and spirit.
Nourishing Your Network
It takes less effort to keep an existing customer than to gain a new customer.This is Business 101.
Coaching for Success
Coaching is perhaps the most effective method of increasing performance available to managers, team leaders, and colleagues. This article defines coaching and outlines a process for effective coaching.
The Real Truth About Working Smarter, Not Harder
Running a business or department can often stretch you to the limit.To be effective at doing what you do best, it's imperative to look at what tasks you can either delegate or outsource.
Success Secrets - The #1 Money Secret I Learned from Interviewing Over 23 Millionaires
All over the Net, people are asking you to pay them for 'get rich' secrets, all the 'systems' have different names. Have you ever asked yourself this question, how many of them are really rich? Maybe a few, right?Wouldn't it be refreshing the learn money making secrets from ones who have documentation to back up there success? Then you know they are legit.
After July 8, Pay This Amount
You undoubtedly go through this, too. A few times a month you gather up the bills coming due and write checks or pay them online.
Taking The Coach Approach
When you use what you go through to grow through, you take the coach approach. I am suggesting that you hire your own counsel.
The Benefits of Coaching
When I was first introduced to the profession of personal coaching, my first initial thought was that it sounded exactly like something I would love to pursue. I did further investigation into the profession and before I knew it I was happily enrolled in the Coach Training Program offered through Coach U University in Colorado, USA.
How to Make $100,000 as a Personal Trainer
In the movie, "The Gladiator," Emperor Commodus' rose to power early on because he realized what was most important to the people of Rome. Most would believe influence would be gained by the accumulation of wealth and fame.
How to Jump-start Your Emotional Health
You've probably heard the expression: "It's not what you're eating. It's what's eating you!" This well-known saying reminds us that the thoughts we entertain can have an impact on our health.
Are You A Work Addict?
Work addiction is very common in our society today, yet it is not one that is not highly recognised.An interesting article in the March edition of The Success Report published by Success Technologies stated:"Of all the addictions receiving attention today (including alcohol, drugs, gambling and food) work addiction is perhaps the least recognised and possibly the most dangerous.
Controlling Behavior, Loving Behavior
When Zack and Tiffany started counseling with me, they were on the verge of divorce after 16 years of marriage. Neither really wanted to end the marriage, yet both were miserable.
You Have The Right
The other day I was having a interesting conversation with an acquaintance, but it soon turned out to be surprising and unpleasant. The other person blurted out an unwelcome comment, in a tactful manner by pin pointing a personal issue within the conversation.