Attention! Thought Crossing! - Or, The Secret of What's Between Your Ears

What are you thinking - right now? 'I'm reading your article!' you say. Well, take a little bit of a closer look. What's spinning in the back of your mind? Is it that big deadline that's looming at the end of the week? Or how you're going to deal with your mother-in-law this weekend? Or maybe you're worrying about your finances?

Are you even aware of the thoughts going through your head right now? What about... now?

Some Bad News From the Thought Police

Scientists estimate that an average person will think at a rate of roughly between 1 and 4 thoughts per second while awake. That's well over 60,000 thoughts during a typical day! And, of all this jabbering going on in your head, it's estimated that you've thought over 95% of your thoughts before. So, not only is your mind generally on a constant hamster wheel, but it's also doing this spinning continuously, unproductively - and unoriginally.

The Power Between Your Ears - It's Not What You Think

Enough bad news? Ok - now here's the other side of the story. You have within you the greatest, simplest, and most powerful tool imaginable. It can lead you to great prosperity, joy, and fulfillment - or it can drop you instantly into the depths of despair and negativity.

No, I'm not talking simply about the power of thought - not even a fraction of those thousands of stale, repeat thoughts running through your head right now will be of much use to you. (Trust me; nope, not even the one wondering for the tenth time whether you turned the stove off this morning). But what is powerful is where you put your attention within all this clatter.

Mr. Webster Says:

'Attention: Concentration of the mental powers; a close or careful observing or listening'. So how does that apply to you? 'Concentration of the mental powers' - all too often, we give away the concentration part of our attention to things utterly undeserving. Thoughts of worry, negative predictions, minor irritations, and daily minutiae are hardly productive, and take up too much room in your head.

And this leaves very little space for the second, critical, aspect of attention: 'a close or careful observing or listening'. We, as a culture, don't like to sit back and listen. We prefer to be constantly inundated with forceful messages which grab our attention and don't let go. We too often forget to sit back and actually listen to the small voice of intuition. You know, the one that already has the answers that we're trying so hard to figure out.

Try It Now

Give it a shot. Really. Stop for a minute, and focus actively on your thoughts - concentrate. What are you thinking? You know, that quiet and incessant little buzz behind your eyes; that unsettled feeling - what's behind that? Now shift your attention to listening, see if there's a message waiting for you. Just below the surface, what is it saying? Listen... You're now learning to distinguish the noise of your mind from the voice of your intuition, your inner knowing - all through the tool of attention.

You Are Not Your Thoughts

There's huge power in putting your attention actively on your thoughts. This helps you to separate the you from the thought. You are not your thoughts, you are having thoughts, they are passing through your head. You are bigger than your thoughts, and you can choose whether or not you want to give them power. And you do this by either giving them your attention, or by allowing them to just float on by.

Head and Heart

And it's not just thoughts that you can focus your attention on. As cognitive psychologists and holistic healers have known for years, emotions and thoughts are deeply intertwined. One influences the other, and both influence your physical biochemistry. So learning to actively focus your attention on the thoughts and feelings you want, while letting go of those you don't want, could be the best thing you'll ever do for your health, your well being, and your happiness.

Oy Vey

'Great', you may say. 'But it isn't so easy to catch my thoughts and feelings, or to do something about them. I don't even know how I feel half of the time, and the thoughts go by so quickly!' Fear not - here's are a few simple exercises.

Use Your Words

One way to 'catch' your fleeting thoughts and feelings and to focus your attention on them is to 'use your words'. Just like a parent may tell an unruly and whining child who is about to pick a fight to 'use your words' to explain what's bothering him, so can you gently nudge yourself to discipline. This may seem silly, but it's remarkably powerful. Write down or speak out loud (or into a tape recorder) exactly what the thoughts and feelings are. Articulating them clearly gives them shape and focus, and allows you much more freedom to act in a way that supports your growth.

Thanks For Sharing

Now, as for how to manage the spinning and repeating thoughts, here's a very simple and effective trick. Just like a parent knows not to take everything their child says too seriously, you can also learn to distinguish helpful thoughts and feelings from destructive ones. You can simply tell your thinker - 'thanks for sharing. I will take your comments under advisement. Now, please move along'.

So What?

So how does all this relate to helping you find 'what's next', or guiding you to 'a you-er you'? Very directly, actually. If you practice putting your direct attention on the jabbering of your mind, articulating those slippery thoughts, and consciously and purposefully telling them 'thanks for sharing!' and then purposefully re-focusing your attention where YOU choose, you will begin to create the space for your true inner voice to come through.

Plant the Seeds:

Now it's your turn. Take a couple of minutes and try these exercises. Really. Try it now. You never know - hey, what's next...?

1. Practice noticing your thoughts. Try the exercise in the 'Try it Now' section above. Really.

2. Use your words. Get over feeling silly, and actually write down what your thoughts are. Try speaking, try using a tape recorder. Experiment. Notice which thoughts show up over and over. Note your top 5 - make friends with them, and thank them profusely for sharing. And remember - attention is power. What thoughts are you giving your power to?

3. Choose consciously. Once you become aware of the thoughts going through your head, you can begin to make choices. For example: 'Hm, I've been thinking a lot about how unhappy I am in my job. Thanks for sharing. Duly noted. I think I'll choose to focus my attention elsewhere right now, thanks.'

P.S. So - what are you thinking... now?

As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts, comments, and insights. Drop me a line at mailto:in@heyWhatsNext.com.

© 2004 Inna Nirenburg

About The Author

Inna Nirenburg is a powerful life coach and workshop leader. She uses her deep wisdom and intuition, as well as a concrete actionable process, to help you answer the question 'What's Next?' in all areas of your life. See http://www.heyWhatsNext.com for more information, or to subscribe to her monthly newsletter, 'Inklings: Your Guide to a You-er You'.

More Resources

Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting

More Coaching Information:

Related Articles

Addiction to Blame
Allen consulted with me because his wife of 18 years had threatened to leave him if he didn't stop blaming her all the time. He admitted to frequently blaming her in a variety of situations.
If What You Are Doing Is Not Working Change Your Approach
And ironically the more we worry about it, the more tense we getand the more likely we are to say something stupid.Let us a take a look at some remedies:1 Learn to relax when you feel under pressure.
Learning To Recognize Your Ego
What is an ego? Well, in case you didn't know it, we all have one. The ego is the logical rational part of your mind that allows you to separate yourself from other people.
Receiving Thanks and Praise - The View from the Other Side
We demand more from those who provide to us and because we are frequently in roles which deliver goods and services ourselves, we are on the receiving end too - of complaints, frustrations and generally poor behaviour.Why is it that when we are on the receiving end, we miss the fact that we ourselves, when we hang up our service-provider-hat at the end of our shift, often end up as 'customers behaving badly' too?Why do we take our own frustrations out on others, the way it has been taken out on us? Why do we sometimes become the Hyde from our normal Jekyll?So, when someone goes the 'extra mile' to say 'Thank you', or appreciate the actions you have taken? What do you take from that and how do you react? You feel good, I guess.
The Power of a Scope
We all know the power of a scope if you need to focus in on a target and hit it. We all need to develop and truly understand the power of the human mind's scope.
The Right Coach
Who is the Best Coach For Achieving Your Goals?A friend of mine was recently at a Mark Victor Hansen and Robert Allen workshop. They were promoting their Enlightened Millionaire Program.
COACHING: When it's Beyond Oprah and Dr. Phil
How many more servings of the daytime self-help salad will it take to sooth your appetite? To actually get your life to where you want it to be? To actually start seeing changes for yourself rather than just on the tear-filled faces of Oprah's latest guests?How about the alternatives? If you stick with TV then you will likely wind up in frightening dead ends with the likes of Jerry, Ricky and Montel. So, you read a few more Chicken Soup books, listen to another Anthony Robbins seminar and double up on the appointments with your shrink.
Two Leadership Strategies: Don't Lose Your Mind & Be a Coach
Are you feeling overwhelmed, a lack of confidence or under a ton of pressure? Are you trying too hard to make something work and focusing too much on trying to fulfill other people's needs and expectations? You may have "lost your mind!"My small still voice often speaks to me in cryptic one-liners. I'll never forget the first time I heard the quiet whisper, "You've lost your mind.
How to Make $100,000 as a Personal Trainer
In the movie, "The Gladiator," Emperor Commodus' rose to power early on because he realized what was most important to the people of Rome. Most would believe influence would be gained by the accumulation of wealth and fame.
Potential
One of the most often mis-understood aspects of self-development is the concept of potential. We are often told that we can achieve our full potential, however, what does this really mean? When the focus is building self-esteem and motivating individuals to do better, there is often the implication that potential is a destination or an end-point that can be reached, and if we just strive for "it", we will reach "it".
Helping Relationships: Understanding the Helpee
One of the most distressing observations I have made among my social work colleagues, is the overwhelming proclivity on the part of many of us so-called helpers, to lack understanding and sensitivity to the position helpees are in when they agree to accept intervention.Many of us take "professionalism" out of context and become more of a burden to families than a helping resource.
Can Versus Cant
It is my personal opinion that there are two words that are the driving force behind your personally achieving your ultimate outcome and your WHY in Life. These two words are the most powerful words that you can and will ever speak to yourself about any situation - "CAN" and "CAN'T" As I've said many times, "CAN" is a word of power; whereas, "CAN'T" is a word of retreat.
Still Wondering About Coaching?
A friend called me the other day from Lower Alabama. He has followed my career as a coach with enthusiasm, and continually refers clients to me, and I'm sure has done his part for making coaching known in his neck of the woods.
Smelling the Roses: Better Living Through Savoring
"Stop and smell the roses," people often say. Then they smile ruefully, because everybody knows there isn't enough TIME to stop or, as my daughter says, to "chill.
Surviving the Workday in Your Organization
Most people suffer from stress at some time during the day. When you recognise your own peak and low energy levels, you can work with your body clock to maintain high productivity and alertness.
Becoming An Empowered Consumer
How many times have you said to yourself?"I just wish that company would treat me like they appreciated my business!"?For many years I trained Customer Service Reps at a large corporation. There is no doubt that it was during those years I personally became a consumer with rather high standards and expectations.
Your Silent Voice of Experience
"I can't wait!" she exclaimed over the phone. The anticipation in her voice was evident as we scheduled a time to meet and discuss her new fund raising project.
Are You Too Critical?
First of all, criticalness breaks up more relationships, than anything else. And that criticalness is usually over the children or money!Criticalness can be seen in eyes that slant down.
Coaching Skills and Positive Motivation
There is one important point that is often missed in the discussion of Coaching Skills: Effective coaching is a great deal more than just problem solving. Many people misinterpret coaching as only a corrective process aimed at specific error and deficiencies of an individual.
Coaching - An Adapting Tool For Attaining Fulfillment In The Global Economy
At a time when the global economy is bringing innovation, new ideas and new opportunities into the marketplace, outsourcing and the elimination of white-collar jobs has left many of us feeling anxious and insecure about the future. It is increasingly apparent that the American Worker can no longer look to the corporation for a sense of security, place, benefits or loyalty.