If What You Are Doing Is Not Working Change Your Approach

And ironically the more we worry about it, the more tense we getand the more likely we are to say something stupid.

Let us a take a look at some remedies:

1 Learn to relax when you feel under pressure.

I often talk about the importance of managing your emotions

This is an essential skill.

There are a wide range of courses and books that you can refer toif you want to learn more about relaxation.

When you feel relaxed it is easier to think on your feet and to beflexible when you need to be.

2 Prepare Yourself

Before a social gathering get ready to have something to talk about.

With the internet on your PC there is no excuse for not becomingwell informed about the world. The more knowledge you have the moreconversations you can contribute to.

Make a point though of reading up on a variety of subjects otherwiseyour conversation topics will be limited to what interests you themost. And those topics may not interest your friends as much.

3 Become genuinely interested in other people

One of the big secrets to conversation power is to shut up! Weare all a lot more interested in ourselves than in anyone else.

When there is a long silence encourage the other person to talkby asking questions and taking an active interest in the answers.

Take charge of the situation if you want the conversation tocontinue.

4 Stupid Statements Are Allowed!

If you say something stupid it is not the end of the world. Ifyou try to hide your error then the situation can become chaoticvery quickly.

It is far better to just admit that you made a mistake. Also,accept that even smart people say stupid things some times.

As long as you accept that you will make mistakes you havenothing to worry about. Expecting yourself to be perfect isunfair and just sets you up for failure.

All you need to do now is to decide how you will deal with thesemistakes when they do happen.

5 Enjoy The Silence!

When there is a long silence in a conversation what normallypasses through your mind? Do you judge it as bad? Do you feelunder pressure to speak?

The other person has created the silence with you. Why not waitfor him to speak first? Take the responsibility off your shoulders.It takes at least two people to have a conversation.

Finally, the reason silence can be uncomfortable is because youbecome self conscious. You become very aware of your own thoughtsand feelings

There is one great way to deal with this. Put your attention onsomething outside of yourself by paying great attention to theother person and whatever is going on around you in the room.

Become fascinated by what you see and hear and you will forgetabout your own concerns.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recentlyproduced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps toDeveloping Communication Confidence. Apply now becauseit is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm

More Resources

Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting

More Coaching Information:

Related Articles

Do You Really Need A Home Business Mentor?
Having a mentor can mean the difference between success and failure if you want to have a successful Internet home business.Many of you have dreamed of owning your own Internet business, and have probably been involved in countless opportunities, and succeeded at none.
Is Your Life In Motion?
Ever since the Internet bubble and the 9/11 terrorist attacks, I've seen many people; including friends and family lose their jobs and/or personal fortunes overnight. The struggling economy has been merciless on the job market.
The Biggest Loser
I am a "Loser". You're gonna learn from this writing today the reason why you too must be a "Loser".
Curbing the Public Nuisance (Part 2)
Yes, that pillar of society that has been with us since that slithery dude threw humanity for a curve in the Garden of Eden - that cornerstone of society has been automated.I am speaking, of course, of the public nuisance ( I wrote about him in Part 1 at http://www.
Have a World-Changing Conversation
I know what you're thinking?"Here I am, completely stressed out and overworked, and here's Barbara telling me that I can change the world by having a conversation! Really?the heat must have fried her brain?"You're absolutely right. (About the world-changing conversations, not about the fried brain.
Two Pillows and One Dead Husband
That's what I needed when I delved deeply into my first acting class. I was 60 years old and had a lifetime of experiences behind me but anger or rather the act of reacting to it was not in my skill set.
The Difference Between Approval and Appreciation
Having worked with individuals, couples, families and business partners for 35 years, helping them learn to resolve conflict, I have often been faced with the difficulties that occur when people are confused about the difference between approval with appreciation. Have you ever wondered about the difference between approval and appreciation? Most of us have never actually thought about it, yet if we do think about it, we realize that we feel very differently when we receive approval as opposed to receiving appreciation.
Coaching - An Adapting Tool For Attaining Fulfillment In The Global Economy
At a time when the global economy is bringing innovation, new ideas and new opportunities into the marketplace, outsourcing and the elimination of white-collar jobs has left many of us feeling anxious and insecure about the future. It is increasingly apparent that the American Worker can no longer look to the corporation for a sense of security, place, benefits or loyalty.
Coaching vs. Directing - How Does Improv Theater Suggest You Should Lead Your Team
An age old battle in improv that I believe resonates well with challenges we experience in the business world is the question of whether a team should have a coach or a director (in which case it should be called an ensemble). In addition there's the third option of the self coached team, which I will call committee from here on forward.
Leadership Coaching - Easier Said Than done
Recently at a Pharmaceutical meeting in Europe, one of the presenters shared the results of a recent study that demonstrated that Managers who were trained in Eight Step Coaching Skills were out selling DM's who were not trained in the program. This quantitative data seems to support that the cornerstone of success lies in effective leadership coaching and diagnosing the needs of the Representatives.
Could You Be A Workaholic?
If you need to put on boots and grab a lap-top computer to relieve yourself at night, you might be a redneck workaholic.It never crossed my mind that there could be such a thing as a redneck workaholic, until I read a column on "Are you a workaholic?""Did you read this?" I asked my wife.
Top Ten Things You Would Never Hear a Coach Say (or then again?!)
When coaching, it's all about the client, be that as a professional coach, or a line manager/business owner using coaching skills in their own business, with their own people. But it's so easy sometimes to turn the tables and be the client.
Personal Life Coaching And How It Can Help You
Coaching is an effective process used to support individuals in creating something new for themselves. I work side by side with my clients' coaching them by providing perspective and support for self-knowledge as they accomplish their business and personal goals.
Forget Resolutions - Craft A Life Theme That Works
How many people do you know who, in January, enthusiastically name their resolution for the year yet somehow neglect to follow through with it a few weeks or months later? Forget making New Year's resolutions. They rarely work because they are often based on "shoulds" versus the bigger picture of your life.
Empowering Vision
Playing Our Part:Sir Michael Costa was conducting a rehearsal, in which the orchestra was joined in a great chorus. About half way through the session, with the trumpets blaring, drums rolling, and violins singing their rich melody, the Piccolo player muttered to himself, "What good am I doing? I might as well not be playing.
Why Therapy Fails Sometimes
I saw a couple for marriage counseling this week, and when I asked them if they had ever seen anyone else for counseling they said they had worked with two other therapists. They had seen one therapist on and off a few years back.
Trump University - Why Success Education Is Important
Trump University recently unveiled offers a bonanza of success secrets, success tips and success insights.Donald Trump, of the Apprentice says "The one sure way to success is to know everything you can about what you do", these words capture the true reason why Trump University exists.
Bringing Forgiveness Down To Earth
What does it mean to forgive?One of the first things we typically think when we hear the word "forgive" is that it is a spiritual concept that is mostly out of reach for us mortal human beings. The bible talks about it, pastors implore us to forgive, we might believe that it is something that we "should" do but for the most part, most of us find it very difficult, if not impossible, to accomplish.
Personal Core Values: Your Key to Success and Happiness
Each of us has our own set of personal values; these are the things which we believe are important, which motivate us and to which we give priority. If I asked you what your personal values are, the chances are that you would struggle to find the answer.
The Benefits of Coaching
When I was first introduced to the profession of personal coaching, my first initial thought was that it sounded exactly like something I would love to pursue. I did further investigation into the profession and before I knew it I was happily enrolled in the Coach Training Program offered through Coach U University in Colorado, USA.