Who Do You Talk To?

Many of you reading this will be running businesses, or parts of, whether they are your own or not. This means that you have many things to deal with on a day to day basis plus trying to do the long-term thinking needed to lead and run the business. You probably find yourself being very busy, possibly working long hours and, if you are honest, being reactive most of the time. When do you get (or make!) time to really think about your business or the way you are operating personally? (Working on the business rather than in it!) Among the dilemmas you face are; making time to tune out and relax, time think about the business, and finding time talk to about the issues and frustrations.

When you are a leader in a business you face a number of challenges at different levels. Ask yourself how much focus you put on to these:

Strategic issues:

  • Assessing the market and what is happening?
  • Who are your main competition - and what are they doing?
  • Medium and long-range goals and aims - and planning?
  • What direction do you want to go in, why and how?
  • Implications?

Tactical issues

  • Day to day challenges
  • Financial aspects, especially cash flow
  • Monitoring and control of your business and the activity
  • Sales and service
  • Personal management style and effectiveness

People issues

  • Staff - numbers, performance, motivation, development
  • Customers and suppliers
  • Colleagues and working relations

As we said earlier, many in your position are so busy dealing with the running of the operation they rarely take time to think about these things in a more detached way. Does this apply to you? This is often compounded by a sense of isolation, brought about by their position too. (Is this familiar?) Who do you talk to about your own style of running the business or handling your people? Who can you share concerns with, without feeling you are weakening your position?

This inability to spend time, or the right amount of time, on these vital areas of your business carries risks! Also, what do you do about your own, personal challenges and concerns? Any sense of isolation and not being able to talk to the appropriate people also has risks. Not many set out to fail in their business lives. Why do they? Often, because the avoid dealing with these risks (possibly even denying them until it is too late.). Sometimes, there may be a combination of circumstances which mean that it cannot be stopped. However, often, disasters can be prevented with the right degree of warning or the right type of support. Many people running businesses, or organisations, are too close to them. They do not have time to work out what they are doing well and to arrange to do more of these things. When things may not be going the right way, they do not consider things objectively. The pressures might build to stress and it seems even harder to share concerns with a third party. This can lead to a downward spiral towards who knows where!

The risks to the business can affect any aspect of it - and the people involved. Beyond that, there are also risks to other areas of your life. If things are going awry, the other part to suffer may be your family or friends. If you are using them as your sounding board, or just carrying bad news or discussing concerns with them it may not help those relationships! (Nor does hiding these things from them either!)

So what can you do if you feel you do want someone to talk to? You can use friends or family, but they do not necessarily provide the encouragement for you to step away and look at things in an objective way. There are various options which you can consider. There is no one "right" approach. You need to consider which seems to be the most suitable for you at the time, given the circumstances.

Advisors: This might be your accountant, someone from your bank or a person you know with a specific "technical" competence who you can turn to. Think about them as someone you can present your situation to and ask for their ideas, or suggestions, about what you could, or should, do. They can be very useful when you need the particular expertise.

Network: Depending on how you operate, you will probably have some sort of network of contacts, whether part of a formal set-up or not. Think about who you know, who has what qualities or skills you can respect or admire and then approach them. (If you are in an organisation, consider colleagues or bosses.) If you have a few friends or acquaintances who are also running businesses, or are people you respect in their field, you may want to consider initiating a support network for you all. (Or create a "mastermind" group.) Arrange to meet at a regular time with the aim of having a short, focused meeting to address specific issues and goals - using your colleagues as a sounding board, and for challenge and support. Do not slide out to a purely social gathering, that can come later!! Be disciplined in the way you work and you will all benefit.

Mentors: A mentor is somewhat different to a coach, though we could go into a long debate about where the differences lie. Typically, a mentor is someone who has relevant experience and expertise to share with you, though they do not necessarily give specific advice. Many of us use mentors at times in our lives, often without knowing it. We find the person we respect and start to talk to them! A number of large organisations have set up formal mentoring schemes and you may have experienced this. There are many mentoring options available through professional bodies or on a local level, although many of these are focussed on helping you to achieve professional qualifications or maintaining CPD criteria. If you want to look for a mentor, you might want to approach your networks and even family and ask for their ideas or recommendations. You want somebody who will be a good listener to act as a sounding board, who can then share ideas from their own experiences about what pitfalls to consider and what options you may want to pursue. The mentoring relationship can be formal, informal or a combination - with a frequency to suit you.

Coaches: This can be an emotive subject these days! The world seems to be filling with "executive" and "life" coaches. Fundamentally, executive coaches will work with you on business and career issues, life coaches work with you on what you want, which may span both work and home. However, the boundaries are often more blurred than that and good executive coaches (who probably have more business experience than many life coaches) will frequently work with you on both aspects.

Coaches will work differently to mentors in that they rarely offer advice. A good coach will support and challenge you on your issues and help you to focus on what you want to achieve. When that is defined they will help you to develop action plans and support you through these, whether by phone, email or face to face sessions. To get good value from a coach, decide what you want to achieve and have some idea of the timescale for this. Although the relationship can go on beyond this, consider the coach as someone to help you achieve specific aims and who will keep you moving forward - as many sports people, musicians and actors do amongst others.

Having a coach may seem something of a luxury or self-indulgence. However, what is the cost of things going wrong or not working the way you want? Coaching can be shown to have a significant ROI and could be one of the best investments you make for you and your business. You want to make sure that you feel a good "fit" with a coach, so look at a few before deciding on who you want to work with and check some of the following:

  • Formal coaching qualifications may help, but they do not guarantee that the coach will be right for you and your issue.
  • What is their experience, their style and the way they would work with you.
  • Do you want all the sessions face to face or do you also want some support by phone and email? What will be most suitable for you?
  • What is their approach to coaching? Do they have particular models or approaches?
  • How flexible are they?
You always have the option of doing nothing!! However, there are risks as we have said and these can creep up on you. You do not have to formally get a mentor or coach, but just talking things over with friends at the gym or the golf club might not help too much. Your family and friends may seem very encouraging. Is that what you need? Sometimes, it is someone who can listen in a slightly more detached way, question and challenge you whilst wanting you to succeed in your career or your business. So it might be worth finding someone to talk to!!! After all, no man (or woman) is an island!

Graham Yemm a founding partner of Solutions 4 Training Ltd. During his years as a consultant he has worked with a variety of major companies in the U.K., Europe, USA, the Middle East and Russia in Sales, People and Management Skills. He has had many years of experience tailoring programmes to address organisational issues around sales, account management, negotiations, sales management and customer service - especially focusing on the communication and personal skills aspects. Graham is a Master Practitioner of NLP and was involved with setting up and running "The Business Group", which promotes uses of NLP in organisations. He is an accredited trainer for the LAB profile programme - "Words that Change Minds". His personal enjoyment comes from helping individuals to take more responsibility for their own actions- freeing them to feel they can make more choices about their lives. Contact, http://solutions4training.com or +1483 480656

More Resources

Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting

More Coaching Information:

Related Articles

Sometimes, It Just Takes ONE Conversation to Change Your Life!
I was thinking this morning about the importance of the profession that I am in. Besides doing various trainings, workshops and consulting, I also coach people.
Difficult Challenges? -- What If?
Sometimes life can seem like one long series of unsolvable problems. I know there have been times when I would much rather find something else to do and quit whatever I was doing simply because it was too much trouble to continue.
How to Jump-start Your Emotional Health
You've probably heard the expression: "It's not what you're eating. It's what's eating you!" This well-known saying reminds us that the thoughts we entertain can have an impact on our health.
Addiction to Thinking
Randall sought my help because he was stuck being miserable and had no idea how to get out of his misery. In his life he had experienced moments of great joy and sense of oneness with all of life, but those moments were infrequent.
Successful Implementation of Company Wide Coaching Programmes
Ten years ago I was fortunate enough to be heavily involved in the implementation of a company wide coaching programme, both as an employee who was to receive coaching but also as a manager and coach who was expected to regular coach my reports and my peers to enable them to achieve their objectives. I say, fortunate enough, because I found that when I was coached effectively I became really motivated and focused, and when I finally became a proficient coach, I again found it motivational in that I was able to support and enable my direct reports to achieve more.
Its Story Time! - Find the Power Within, or The Truth About Dogs
I heard a story recently, and wanted to share it with you. It goes something like this:Once upon a time.
Curbing the Public Nuisance (Part 2)
Yes, that pillar of society that has been with us since that slithery dude threw humanity for a curve in the Garden of Eden - that cornerstone of society has been automated.I am speaking, of course, of the public nuisance ( I wrote about him in Part 1 at http://www.
Business Coaching - Ten Ways of Dealing with Mistakes You Made
You can either choose to dwell on what happened and get stuck in the past or you can choose to start using your energy to build your future. Either choice is okay.
Build Your People Skills
How would you like to get along even better with others in your personal relationships and in the workplace? Getting along well with people sounds kind of general and is difficult to do much about, so let's break it down into some manageable and specific skills. By building the following skills, you will get along well with others:1.
Great Advice
It never ceases to amaze me that every time I give a speech, do a seminar, or talk with people one-on-one, I get inundated with questions seeking the almighty answers to all that ails them. However, when I press them to come up with an answer to their own situation, they usually respond by offering their own solution right back to me.
Trust In The Moment, and Trust In Yourself
Do you often get yourself upset and feeling less than fully confident, as part of your preparation for facing a daunting challenge? You can improve your performance if you let your somatic intelligence lead the way."You move too much to be effective.
Seeing Your Energy At Work
Our bodies are made of pure energy. With Quantum physicswe learn that the cells of our body are made of molecules, which are made of atoms, which are made of sub-atomic particles.
How to Turn Around A Sinking Conversation - 7 Tips
When a conversation is not working out there is the potential for massive frustration or a breakthrough depending on how you look at it.1.
Do You Ever Give Up Coaching Employees?
In principle, we don't want to give up coaching employees. We want to believe that we can eventually make a difference.
3 Keys to Making Small Talk Easy to Do
Small talk used to be really hard work for me. I never knew what to say and I always worried about saying the wrong thing.
Our Perception Determines Our Experience
Not long ago, I traveled back east to Ohio and Chicago. While I was there, I was amazed that the friends I made along my journey seemed to have completely different observations of the state in which they lived.
How to Deal Effectively with Anxiety
Every human feels anxiety on occasion; it is a part of life. All of us know what it is like to feel worry, nervousness, fear, and concern.
Overcoming Work Addiction
Why are you so busy? Do you really have too much work? Is work so important to you that you'll sacrifice just about anything in your life to get the job done? Even if it's at the expense of your health and your relationships?If you find these questions disturbing then see how you rate with these ones:Do you work more than 50 hours a week?Do you dream about work?Do you feel that in order to succeed you must work late most of the time?Are you a stranger in your own home?Do you constantly miss family and social events because you're always working?Do you schedule and undertake more than you can get done in a 40-hour work week?Do you get bored when you're not working?Is missing family and social events because of work unavoidable?When on holiday do you constantly check your phone messages and email?Your ScoreThe greater the number of yes answers, the closer you are to fitting the profile of a workaholic. If you've answered yes to more than half of the questions, it's time to take stock before you lose your health, family and everything you hold near and dear to your heart.
Trump University - Why Success Education Is Important
Trump University recently unveiled offers a bonanza of success secrets, success tips and success insights.Donald Trump, of the Apprentice says "The one sure way to success is to know everything you can about what you do", these words capture the true reason why Trump University exists.
101 Winning Choices
Personal missions statements (PMS) are just nothing but the winning choices. Our mind can program us in such a way that success ratio in personal, social & professional life changes drastically.