How Not Letting Go of Your Past can Hurt Your Future

Experiences, whether good or bad, are sometimes all wehave, and most of them reside in the past. So you may ask,why should I let go of my past when much of it is filledwith beautiful memories and serenity?

Well, that is certainly not what I mean. What I do mean iswhen a past is littered with seemingly overwhelming pain, itimpedes one's ability to move forward and adjust to thisever-changing world. A good analogy would be of abackpack filled with distressful memories that one tries toswim with, but it always seems to weigh you down,allowing you to merely breathe, is quite fitting.

This backpack, even though not physically attached toone's body, seems like some type of appendage that riddingoneself of is unbelievably difficult or painful. So, as humansdo, we many times avoid, at all costs, the detachment ofthis pain because it has indelibly been written into a past asif in stone.

Therefore, using it as an old wooden crutch to not live ourlives to its fullest potential, is how many people see theirpast. These excuses fill our lives with procrastination andthat procrastination is an excellent way of delaying ahealthier future, devoid of these negative memories.

If, for example, a series of painful experiences throughoutyour childhood, like verbal or sexual abuse, always seem tohaunt your ability to progress in your interpersonalrelationships. In turn, you subconsciously sabotage theserelationships by not giving enough of yourself, or verballygiving too much of yourself.

Fundamentally, the mindset of intertwining the past with thepresent hurts everything you come in contact with, becausethe backpack is still around your aching shoulder.

Getting rid of the backpack may be the hardest thing youcan do, but consider the cost of maintaining its existence? A mind polluted with pain is not only counterproductive,but can sometimes be dangerous, given the wrong personand situation.

Well then, how do I know if my past is hurting my future?

A hurtful past surfaces subconsciously, if not properly letgo. Moreover, consciously you are the only person whocan detect and determine what pain you carry with you, sothat becomes your antidote.

When appropriately analyzing your current mentalcondition, you need to set all pride aside and begin to delveinto your past. False pride can mask what a morelucid-thinking individual could obviously see as painful. Therefore, a lucid and logical mindset is of the utmostimportance.

Identification of particular events that are painful and thenindexing them in their level of importance, is also importantin knowing to what degree certain memories are hinderingyour progression.

In the indexing phase, one should identify and compare orlook for the memories that cast the longest shadow.

When this is completed, the arduous task of letting go mustproceed. Ask yourself truthfully, is this memory worthkeeping this close, or would letting it go to its grave makemy life easier? This cost benefit analysis should be donewith all the toxic memories, in order to understand theirrole in suppressing your life.

Although letting go of a broken past is extremely helpful inones future, it cannot be overstated that this process is justthat, a process and cannot be done overnight. Working onthese memories and coming to terms with them by notaccepting them anymore, can take years. As each onediminishes from your memory, you will not only be able tofeel the backpack become lighter, but you will be able tostart moving more freely into your future.

by Brian

Want to improve your personal values? Get high-quality relationship advice for guys and gals from a 'Logical' standpoint.

Visit ValuePrep - Relationship Advice.

**Attn Ezine editors / Site Owners**
Feel free to reprint this article in its entirety in your ezine or on your website as long as you leave all links in place, do not modify the content and include our resource box as listed above.

More Resources

Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting

More Coaching Information:

Related Articles

3 Keys to Making Small Talk Easy to Do
Small talk used to be really hard work for me. I never knew what to say and I always worried about saying the wrong thing.
We Are the Five People We Associate with Most
Last month I was invited to participate in a charity golf tournament in Las Vegas to celebrate the life of the late dancing legend Gregory Hines. The event was held to raise funds and awareness of the tragic disease that took this entertainer's life.
Plug in Your Systems for Success
Have you ever noticed that so many of us who work diligently and ethically rarely achieve our objectives? And, why is it that those who-seemingly-work half as hard and half as long experience one success after another?The answer is twofold; successful people succeed because they implement proven, systems for success. Secondly, successful people have mastered the art of making time, work for them.
Mentors and Coaches: How to Be a Great Mentee or Learner
When you invest your time in being a mentee you will be rewarded with accelerated learning and experiences from your mentor. You will learn from and avoid the mistakes that they may have made, learn about your industry, meet great people, form valuable relationships and be able to mentor someone in your future.
Helping Relationships: Understanding the Helpee
One of the most distressing observations I have made among my social work colleagues, is the overwhelming proclivity on the part of many of us so-called helpers, to lack understanding and sensitivity to the position helpees are in when they agree to accept intervention.Many of us take "professionalism" out of context and become more of a burden to families than a helping resource.
Relaxation Couldnt Be Simpler
Many people use their sofa and TV to help them 'switch off and relax'. In reality, television programs can suspend you n stress for yours, with depressing or thrilling storylines, violence and madness!True relaxation is achieved when all tensions and thoughts are eliminated.
Curse of Competence: How Being Good gets in the way of Becoming Great
Just before the storms hit last winter, my father-in-law and I replaced 26 feet of fence on my property. I must say, for a couple of non-handyman-sorts like the two of us, it is a very well done fence.
What Can Be Changed In Management To Improve Bottom Line Results?
If you don't have the full support and understanding of key management positions, any organizational changes being made are going to be thwart with difficulties. It is up to CEOs and Presidents to champion the cause and ensure their managerial teams are also in full support, so that it can filter down through the ranks more smoothly.
Coaching for Results
He's a very successful sales manger who craves results. He can't be bothered with people who don't produce.
What Rules!
There are things that we do automatically internally that we don't even realize are the things that make us who we are. Our own rules for living that we hardly ever question, and even less frequently examine.
Whats Next Syndrome
Terms like Postpartum, Post Traumatic and Post Gulf War are all well-known Syndromes - mysteries no longer to the medical community or even those of us who count ourselves among the great unwashed. We hear and read everyday about the negative outcomes from life-threatening trauma.
Transitions: Moving Through Change With Grace
MOVING THROUGH CHANGECreating any major change in our lives can also create feelings of discomfort. Tiredness, confusion, and uncertainty are among the many emotions that can be experienced.
Viewpoints - Communication Destruction Or....
Viewpoints! Everyone has them and they are personal. However, when you believe that only your view is correct, you shut out other people and do not listen to the facts they are giving.
Three Great Ways to Deal with Negative People
1. Do not believe everything you hear!With close friends and family it is not unusual to think that you ought to take onboard everything you hear.
4 Brilliant Tips to Speed Read Faster than Ever
Many people, particularly students, would love to beable to absorb information faster. But before retaininginformation, they have to go through the first stage oflearning, which is reading.
Progress Reviews: Your Key To Effective Coaching
One of the most effective ways to help your staff succeed is to provide regular, consistent coaching throughout the year. A Progress Review is a specific kind of coaching discussion, tied to the employee's Annual Objectives and Standards.
Executive Coaching and Effective Learning
We've all been through training events-workshops, seminars, and courses that didn't affect our behavior as much as we would have preferred. And while each provides valuable information and tools for increased productivity, most of us also understand what happens after the workshop is over.
Leadership Coaching at Gettysburg
The battle at Gettysburg is one of the most notable events in U.S.
How to Optimize the Awesome Power of Thoughts and Imagination
Have you encountered a time when you were in a traffic jam and was running late for an important meeting? Did you stay calmand focused? Or did your mind wander into the dark side ofthe impending consequences that may occur?If you're always picturing people getting mad at you and thinking of negative outcomes, then your body suffers as well. You may experience chest pains, anxiety disorders, indigestion, and other health problems.
Feeling Self-Conscious? 6 Tips to Turn it Around Fast!
When you feel self-conscious it means you are putting too much attention on your self, too much focus on what you are doing and how you are doing it. And this is a formula for poor performance.