Feeling Self-Conscious? 6 Tips to Turn it Around Fast!

When you feel self-conscious it means you are putting too much attention on your self, too much focus on what you are doing and how you are doing it. And this is a formula for poor performance.

The secret then to dealing with this problem is to become other conscious.

If all you do is shift your focus from self to others you will communicate better, perform better and become a far better listener.

Another positive consequence is that other people will enjoy spending time with you because it is so obvious you give them your complete attention.

Your goal is to become so fascinated by other people that your focus is on what they say, how they say it and why they say it.

6 Tips for Becoming Other Conscious:

1. Pay attention to the way people breathe, watch closely and observe the relationship between breathing and speaking.

2. Listen not just to what people say but the way they say it. Pay very close attention to speech patterns, changes in tempo, volume and tone.

3. Ask thoughtful questions to understand the way others think. Really strive to grasp why others think what they think.

4. Whenever your focus shifts back to the way you are behaving ask yourself questions about the other person so you need to pay attention to him e.g.

  • What does he really mean by that?

  • How does he manage to be so boring?

  • How does she keep people so entranced with her words?

5. Use your imagination to change your mood and to keep your mind too occupied to be self-conscious.

You could for example imagine that the people you are talking to are wearing no clothes or inappropriate clothes. Why not have some fun, feel good and still enjoy a good conversation?

You owe it to yourself to find as many ways as possible to feel good. As I have said before excellent communication skills are more dependant on your mental and emotional states than on clever language patterns.

6. Use affirmations to condition a new belief about your ability to be relaxed and other conscious. For example:

  • I am fascinated by the way people talk

  • I give my complete attention to whoever I talk to

  • I am an excellent conversationalist

  • I feel fantastic when I meet new people

About The Author

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm

More Resources

Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting

More Coaching Information:

Related Articles

How to Make $100,000 Dollars as a Personal Trainer - Part C for Client!
My name is Greg Ryan. For the last twenty years I have counseled thousands of personal trainers, fitness directors and gym owners on how be successful in the health and fitness industry.
Executive Coaching and Effective Learning
We've all been through training events-workshops, seminars, and courses that didn't affect our behavior as much as we would have preferred. And while each provides valuable information and tools for increased productivity, most of us also understand what happens after the workshop is over.
Why?
I met Sean a year and a half ago in a crowd of 50,000 people. We struck up a conversation and really hit it off.
Overcoming Work Addiction
Why are you so busy? Do you really have too much work? Is work so important to you that you'll sacrifice just about anything in your life to get the job done? Even if it's at the expense of your health and your relationships?If you find these questions disturbing then see how you rate with these ones:Do you work more than 50 hours a week?Do you dream about work?Do you feel that in order to succeed you must work late most of the time?Are you a stranger in your own home?Do you constantly miss family and social events because you're always working?Do you schedule and undertake more than you can get done in a 40-hour work week?Do you get bored when you're not working?Is missing family and social events because of work unavoidable?When on holiday do you constantly check your phone messages and email?Your ScoreThe greater the number of yes answers, the closer you are to fitting the profile of a workaholic. If you've answered yes to more than half of the questions, it's time to take stock before you lose your health, family and everything you hold near and dear to your heart.
The Best Things in Life Are Rarely Things
Have you ever noticed this to be true?The best things in life for me are those things are not things at all. People and experiences make the biggest mark: a wonderful relationship, time with family, or a fantastic vacation that stays in my mind for years.
What Do You Have To Give?
"Happiness is not a matter of good fortune or worldly possessions. It's a mental attitude.
Budda In Your Back Pocket
The other day I was late for something. Not very late.
Self-contentment Leads to Confidence
Being self-content means accepting and acknowledging who you are at your core and becoming satisfied -- maybe not perfect, but satisfied -- in all areas of your life. When you learn to better understand, better appreciate and eventually love yourself, you exude a quiet confidence that will open doors to what you want in life.
Every Obstacle Always Presents an Opportunity
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock.
Stay Connected To WHY You Are Doing Things
"The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work." Richard BachThis quote was shared with me by a fellow coach & colleague.
Body Language Speaks Louder Than Words
Has it ever occurred to you how much you are saying to people even when you are not speaking? Unless you are a master of disguise, you are constantly sending messages about your true thoughts and feelings whether you are using words or not.Studies show that your words account for only 7% of the message you convey.
Masterminding Success - How to Start a Masterminding Meeting?
Masterminding is about a group of like-minded, achievement-oriented individuals who come together to combine the power of several minds to tackle problems, seek advice and perspectives in achieving their goals.Before the meeting proper begins, get into your group of like-minded individuals and before any masterminding can happen, read out loud together the 9 rules so as to instill the proper atmosphere needed for creativity.
Among the Purpose & Personality
I have one magical thought, lets see it more closely. Every one has purpose of life.
How To Increase Your Coaching Record By At Least 25%
"How can I become a better and more effective coach?" We hear this question frequently and there's obviously more than one answer. Today, let's explore one aspect of better coaching.
Coaching Can Help Teachers At A Crossroads In Their Careers
Teachers enter the profession with the desire to help others, but after years in the field it can lose its luster. If it's no longer offering satisfaction the way it once did find out how you can get the joy back.
Use a Journal for Self-Discovery and Self-Expression
As a therapist, I often suggest to clients that they explore their feelings and thoughts by keeping a journal. Sometimes clients ask for a bit of direction with this process.
4 Ways To Avoid Looking Stupid When Making Small Talk
The fear of saying something silly and feeling embarrassed stops many of us from contributing more to discussions at work and when we are relaxing with friends.And ironically the more we worry about it, the more tense we get and the more likely we are to say something stupid.
Curse of Competence: How Being Good gets in the way of Becoming Great
Just before the storms hit last winter, my father-in-law and I replaced 26 feet of fence on my property. I must say, for a couple of non-handyman-sorts like the two of us, it is a very well done fence.
Who Are You Mixing It With?
I talk and write a lot about Life Design - creating and sculpting a life that is fulfilling for you. It is about shaping your personal landscape and environment.
Three Great Ways to Deal with Negative People
1. Do not believe everything you hear!With close friends and family it is not unusual to think that you ought to take onboard everything you hear.